Arrange Marriage.........biggest risk of life

Hi readers,

This is my extensive report on grooms available in the market.  After a long research, I find there are different kinds of variety available in the market.  You can choose as per your Budget and Preference. If you are lucky enough you we will find a batter mate with in your range else you have to compromise somewhere.  As said couples are made in heaven they are decided by your destiny.

One day I was thinking what will happen if there were not arrange marriage, I came to know if there were no arrange marriage people like me would be alone for entire life.  Kyonki hum jaise logo se khud to kuch hota nahi….Kidding.  Actually we are not ready to compromise.  Sometimes person I like they are already engage or most of the time person who likes me I do not see them as a best mate for myself…..tragic :(.  Let’s not talk about me…So here is my research.

When a middle class father goes to find a groom for her educated cultured daughter within his budget, he wants the boy should be good looking, financially stable and who is able to make her daughter happy.  Family should be educated and cultured.  During his search he comes across different kind of boys.  At first time he wanted to look everything in one boy but gradually he starts compromising.  

As I said there are categories.  One of them is serviceman, good looking, well educated with handsome earning does not have any affair this category is very difficult to find, but if it is available his price would be very high.  He would be very expensive, almost out of father’s budget….poor girl.  If they are agree to marry, your daughter is too lucky but in today’s scenario it is next to impossible.

The Second category is good looking, business man not educated.  No surety for future depends on family.  It is risk there are chances of failure of such relation.  But if you are ready to take the risk…your call.  If his business is very good again he would be very expensive.

So at the end I realize arrange marriage is matter of luck because in one or two meeting  your father or family can not make out how would be the boy so they give preference to the boy’s family. If the boys family is sound enough a father agrees to give her daughter to them now it’s the luck of boy and girl how much they the compatible for each other.  It depends on their understanding and maturity level.  If it matches very good if it does not match they have to compromise their entire life.

Just Move on.......

Just move on in life live as it comes.  Do not hold past whether, it was good or bad  it will give you pain. Whenever you will think about it your eyes will be wet.  Its tough to move on but its not impossible.  If nothing is working out leave it otherwise you will spoil it because it is your destiny you have to face it you have no control over it.  Bad time is always seems longer than good time so it is your true friend.  Yes forgetting the past is impossible but holding it is more panic it doest not let you live present.  Running away from the adverse situation is not the solution of the problem because I have seen the more you run the more you have to face it is your shadow wherever you will go, you will find it with you.  I have seen and realize,  The problem which forced me to take this decesion is stil with me the difference is just the face has changed.  In these situation the question which comes is what should I do and you do not have control over the situation.  Be calm have patience there will be a day which will be yours these thought should keep in mind..  No matter it comes true or not but it will give you the courage to live life otherwise you would gone mad.  Keep try your luck untill it gets batter but do not loose patience.  Accept you weekness and the failure tr y to learn from it and always remember it was your deceision you have to respect it is not that bad as you are taking it.  Success does not come in a day you have to earn it.  You can earn a thing only when you work continously, smartly and most impotant you never stop yourself.  A bad ecperience atleast gives you an experience.

Expectation...........

Why does it happen when you take any decision for yourself people starts avoiding you.  Is it wrong to think about yourself we always think about others sometimes family, sometimes friends and sometimes your colleagues.  Our every decision is influenced by these three bodies.  Why don’t we have such freedom to take any decision only for our self.  There would always be someone who would unhappy with you due to your decision why does it always happen.  Why cant we make everyone happy.  Why don’t people understand and agree.   If a person want to marry with is own choice there would be someone in the family who will not agree with you.  When you want to be alone or want to do something different there would be some friends who would not like your suggestion,  When you want to leave an organization your peers would not like you, you will become enemy in their eyes who used to say you are the star for them.  Why does it happen. Can’t a person do anything just for himself or herself.  Why can’t those people let the person go happily.  Most of you will say don’t care about the people who says what to you and do what you want to do in life just don’t care about them. It is true if we want to move on in life we would do the same but somewhere in heart we would have a feeling that someone is not happy and we can not do anything for him or her.  It hurts little bit but we ignore this feeling and do what  seems good for us.  But today why I am thinking all this… how does people change how does there behavior change just only for one reason that you are thinking about yourself you have dared to think about you.   How does people forget all that which you have done for them, just in a single second their behavior changes. I want to understand one thing if a person likes you , cares about you think about you he should be with you and he should respect your decision, yes for a time being it will create a little problem to those people for whom you were support but they should not behave in a way that it hurts you. In my view those people to whom you are dear should let you go happily they should have such understanding that yes it will create a problem for me,  I will mange but it is the matter of his happiness.  They do not understand, if they would start avoiding you they are losing their worth because the person who is taking the decision for himself have some gratitude and respect for you in his eyes because he knows you have done a lot for him whether he says or not he knows.  Once the people start avoiding you because of your decision you start changing your perception about them and all the gratitude and respect demolish in that fraction of second. 

It is natural we can not change it, we can not make everyone happy in the life.   We have to take some harsh decisions for the betterment of our future.   This not a new situation for me everyone somewhere in life has to face this situation.  To-morrow I may be the person who is standing in the crowd and there would be someone whose decision will affect my life,  I may behave like others but I would try to remember this time and will think about his or her happiness.  At least I will not like to be a hiccup in someone’s happiness.  I would always remember life doesn’t end people come play their role and goes.  It is possible when I do not expect any thing from anyone.  One thing I got to know expectation is the problem of every sorrow.  You got hurt when you expect something from someone.  Just tried to be neutral in every situation and whenever you are in any problem think, this is your problem so you have to search the solution yourself.  Do not hurt those people by whom the problem has come,  because it will not make any difference in their life,  It will just project your image as a selfish person who is not ready to accept others happiness.

Bewilderment

How does it feel when you have two choice one is your present and another is your future.  What should one select out of two.  Present will give the happiness for few moments and another will secure your future. When you know if you select present it will cherish your couple of weeks and once this period is over the problem will persist the same.  And the another option when you know if I choose the future today I have to face some weird eyes everyone will shout on you people will make you feel as you have committed sin and once you overcome all these looks and reaction future will not be best but it will be batter than now .  Most of the people will go for the second option and what if first one was your dream and you have to choose between your dream and future what option you would go for???  Dream will give you happiness for few days and future might give you happiness for longer period of time.  Confuse…………What I will choose is future, I just need to have faith in me if I have attitude I will bring the time back and will create the situation so that I can fulfill my dream in my way and on my condition.  There is one more myth opportunities never come again and again and both are the opportunity both are good, I just need to realize which is batter.  If I keep aside my emotions, definitely I will choose one which will give me long term benefit.  Concept applies same everywhere.   After all you want peace of mind at least for few moments.  It is difficult to pass the time when you know it going to be hell after this but you can pass the toughest time when you know after this it will be batter

Patience

There are the times in life when I feel very low, I see negativity everywhere. What should one do in such situation.  There are different times when you have options and there are times when you have nothing. One cry, screams and there is none who listens you.  There is only one thing your loneliness.  Many people comes they gives you suggestion but nothing works, they say it is very small problem don’t worry and they try to talk you but you love to be alone.  Actually none can understand one’s problem from what you are going through and no problem in this world is a small problem,  problem is never big or small that is there is one word problem it can not be measured this can only be felt  by the person who is facing it.  This is the phase when you are confused and you do not have control over the things but you don’t stop trying obviously you can not stop acting you try every damn thing to change your time but nothing works and these failures decrease your morale, discourage you world seems to end.  During this phase whatever decision you take is always wrong this is what I have learnt. Because it is the emotional state of your mind and any decision which you take emotionally is always wrong.  The practice which helps in this situation is sitting quite.  When you take decision in such situation you feel this the right thing but I would say in this situation one should not take any decision no matter how good it seems even if it seems the best decision of your life do not take it.  This thing we do not realize at that time, at that time we just want to run away but running away is not the solution of any problem.  If it is not your time you have to face it till it ends.  And believe me it ends.  Bad time gives you pain, it gives you tears actually it tests your patience.  There is one only one friend of yours during your hard time which is illusion.  Be in illusion that toughest time is directly proportional to happiest time only than you will be able to face it.  As much you discuss it with other it becomes bigger.  Always respect such time it makes you strong, it make you mature it keeps you down to earth.  Whenever in life you feel whatever you have gotten is not what you want and if you realize you are hurting someone remember this time, if you remember it you will become possessive for what you have.  Try to recall those night which you have spent alone when you tried to sleep you were not able to, when to try to cry you didn’t get place, try to remember those days when you went to washroom because you want to cry and you are not able to do anything.  Try to remember that time when you want have someone s shoulder not to share your problem just to rest your head on it and keep silence, just to feel yes there is someone who can under stand my silence but but there was no one.

Desire

We always strive to chase our dream. Dream which are endless. Wishes.. for what we always ask god to fulfill and promise to him this will be the last…if it could be last there will be no word in this world as Wishes. It is just like giving a lollipop to god so that he listen us.  I always wanted to be a doctor when time came my interest moved toward computer when time came to choose computer I moved towards commerce. These are desires infinity desires when we do not have something we die to get that and when it comes to life either we got afraid or we have lesser importance for that in life most of the time we started looking towards something called batter than this and it becomes another desire.  Again we are hungry.  There is nothing wrong its human nature I want more, more and more….actually chasing a thing which is not yours is the motive of ones life and if you get it you realize it is not that what I wanted and the race starts again…..It gives a direction , a motive to live, a joy to get it which we do not realize.  This joy is that feeling which we imagine what if I could have it, this imaginary  feeling is more beautiful and happening than the feeling comes after getting it.  So keep dreaming………….